Friday, August 22, 2008

Response to Chain Letters

The following is a funny "chain letter" I received today :)




Hello, my name is Billy and I suffer from guilt for not forwarding 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe, if you send them on, a poor six-year-old girl in Scotland with a breast on her forehead will be able to raise enough money to have it removed before her redneck parents sell her to a travelling freak show.

And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone to whom you send 'his' email?

How stupid are we?

Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by a model I just happen to run into the next day!

What a bunch of bullshit.

Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodomise me in my sleep for not continuing a chain letter that was started by St Peter in 5AD and brought to this country by midget pilgrim stowaways on the Endeavour.

Fuck 'em!!

If you're going to forward something, at least send me something mildly amusing.

I've seen all the 'send this to 10 of your closest friends, and this poor, wretched excuse for a human being will somehow receive a nickel from some omniscient being' forwards about 90 times. I don't fucking care.

Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's our own unpopularity.

The point being?

If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.

If it's funny, send it on.

Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to the arse of a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email.

Now forward this to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will consume your genitals.

Have a nice day.

Billy Connolly


PS Send me 15 bucks and then fuck off.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

2008 Fasting Times for London from Islamic Finder

DayRamadan GregorianFajrSunrise
Dhuhr AsrMaghribIsha
Mon11/94:116:131:01 4:437:479:42
Tue22/94:136:151:01 4:427:449:39
Wed33/94:166:161:00 4:407:429:37
Thu44/94:186:181:00 4:397:409:34
Fri55/94:206:191:00 4:377:389:31
Sat66/94:206:191:00 4:377:389:31
Sun77/94:226:2112:59 4:367:359:28
Mon88/94:276:2412:59 4:337:319:22
Tue99/94:296:2612:58 4:327:299:20
Wed1010/94:316:2712:58 4:307:269:17
Thu1111/94:336:2912:57 4:287:249:14
Fri1212/94:356:3112:57 4:277:229:11
Sat1313/94:376:3212:57 4:257:199:09
Sun1414/94:376:3212:57 4:257:199:09
Mon1515/94:416:3512:56 4:227:159:03
Tue1616/94:436:3712:56 4:217:129:01
Wed1717/94:456:3812:55 4:197:108:58
Thu1818/94:476:4012:55 4:177:088:55
Fri1919/94:496:4212:55 4:167:068:53
Sat2020/94:516:4312:54 4:147:038:50
Sun2121/94:516:4312:54 4:147:038:50
Mon2222/94:556:4612:54 4:116:598:45
Tue2323/94:576:4812:53 4:096:568:42
Wed2424/94:596:5012:53 4:076:548:40
Thu2525/95:016:5112:52 4:066:528:37
Fri2626/95:036:5312:52 4:046:498:35
Sat2727/95:046:5512:52 4:026:478:32
Sun2828/95:046:5512:52 4:026:478:32
Mon2929/95:066:5612:51 4:016:458:30
Tue3030/95:106:5912:51 3:576:408:25

Monday, August 18, 2008

Elvan Abeylegesse

Well done to Elvan for winning the Olympic 10000m silver in Beijing for Turkey.

She knew that her old compatriot Dibaba was the main threat and did everything she could to break her. But Dibaba was much better on the day and deserved the Olympic gold.

However, Elvan ran one of the few fastest times at 10K ever, and you cannot ask her to do much more than that.

Similar to the Turkish football team at the Euro 2008, she gave everything and we are all proud of her as a nation.

Friday, August 15, 2008

Ogrenci

üniversite yemekhanesine giren bir öğrenci tüm yerler dolu olduğundan
gidip üniversite profesörünün oturduğu masaya oturmuş.
profesör kaşlarını çatarak: 'öküzler ve kuşlar aynı masada oturamaz!'
öğrenci:o zaman ben uçtum...
profesör cevaba çok sinirlenmiş, sınavda öğrenciye takmış ve sınavı
başarısız geçmesi için elinden geleni yapmış. yalnız sınavda çğrenci tüm soruları
mükemmel bir şekilde cevaplamış.profesör öğrenciye:sana bir soru soracağım ,demiş.
yolda yürürken iki çuval bulduğunu hayal et, birinde akıl var diğerinde ise para var.
hangi çuvalı alırsın?
öğrenci: para olan çuvalı seçerdim...
profesör: ben akıl olan çuvalı seçerdim...
öğrenci: normal! kimde ne eksikse onu seçer...
profesör çok sinirlenmiş, öğrencinin sınav kağıdına not yerine 'öküz' yazmış.
öğrenci nota bakmadan odadan çıkmış. bir dakika sonra öğrenci kapıyı aralamış:
'sayın profesör, imzanızı atmışsınız,
fakat notumu yazmayı unutmuşsunuz ' demiş

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

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